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Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my family sat me down and told me I was spending way too much time with my boyfriend and not enough time with them. My boyfriend has been away in Iraq for six months and just came home a week ago. FML

#6406317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (2166)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:03pm - love - by gj09 - United States

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (2956)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (4458)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

#6298620
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40696) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

#6605236
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31005) - you deserved it (7212)

On 12/04/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by olive_costume (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20705) - you deserved it (2031)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (2410)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (4578)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (4320)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

#7014697
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (6376)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)



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