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Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (3643)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (5869)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31573) - you deserved it (5760)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

#21372437
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/11/2015 at 10:01am - work - by nothesisforme - France

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (711) - you deserved it (3388)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (3619)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (37015)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (2161)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (2554)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62500) - you deserved it (4197)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

#4484
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64728) - you deserved it (7585)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (2806)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)



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