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Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (13944)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (3226)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35009) - you deserved it (5027)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (3532)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (4280)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (9011)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (2672)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (4077)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (27798)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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