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Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

#1729820
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (6170)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

#1739978
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14311) - you deserved it (27554)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40488) - you deserved it (3052)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38783) - you deserved it (2028)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

#4994596
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (40395)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18784) - you deserved it (8242)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML

#5720905
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:13pm - work - by Dan (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML

#6326232
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (3355)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

#5764278
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (7654)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm - kids - by Jer (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

#5539236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML

#4087171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52490) - you deserved it (6740)

On 07/27/2009 at 7:33pm - love - by RupeeLink - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

#5373762
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (3928)

On 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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