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Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

#5409336
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37078) - you deserved it (7068)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17366) - you deserved it (38921)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

#4212486
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39038) - you deserved it (9446)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

#3777145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11159) - you deserved it (49016)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

#5480779
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7765) - you deserved it (59125)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by veggocake (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

#3907270
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (5682)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36834) - you deserved it (4387)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

#5635869
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you deserved it (5210)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13am - love - by helplesslover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (3463)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (9185)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

#6222745
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (5181)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (2269)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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