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Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46273) - you deserved it (3893)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (13906)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (29437)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

#257838
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56267) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77393) - you deserved it (4555)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49564) - you deserved it (15075)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53888) - you deserved it (3097)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45158) - you deserved it (4024)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

#3122883
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40923) - you deserved it (3871)

On 06/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by Goldo (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (5549)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (12524)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43417) - you deserved it (19059)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

#1590402
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (24411)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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