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Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (2592)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML

#20682342
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (4803)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44914) - you deserved it (7508)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60641) - you deserved it (7091)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52596) - you deserved it (3215)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48715) - you deserved it (8902)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (4538)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49902) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40466) - you deserved it (5051)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57073) - you deserved it (2927)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (4085)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

#20740385
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41936) - you deserved it (3421)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:20am - work - by no name - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40399) - you deserved it (2398)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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