Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (5831)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

#20963001
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46764) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43320) - you deserved it (2555)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

#20970198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (3639)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by cb - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

#21001750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (4798)

On 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm - love - by Lucie - United States (New York)

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (2442)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (6465)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (7741)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43752) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48242) - you deserved it (4470)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (5210)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: