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Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7844) - you deserved it (32667)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11691) - you deserved it (23065)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML

#6738279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (5916)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

#6890097
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18270) - you deserved it (4665)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (3503)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23738) - you deserved it (4797)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (4780)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (3935)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26194) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

#7470937
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:33am - work - by Bob (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36838) - you deserved it (4403)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11103) - you deserved it (20499)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

#14356435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (7588)

On 12/27/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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