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Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (3766)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (9147)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (2503)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (6117)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you deserved it (4457)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (12145)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (5747)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (2930)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (2493)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (3084)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9665) - you deserved it (33084)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

#3824312
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by msj137 - United States



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