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Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40550) - you deserved it (2721)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (3763)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (11905)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (4972)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (4200)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43881) - you deserved it (5638)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39547) - you deserved it (2928)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42322) - you deserved it (12595)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42344) - you deserved it (4442)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

#21075503
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (4005)

On 03/02/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

#21105380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37841) - you deserved it (5782)

On 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (10303)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (6091)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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