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Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phone the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you..." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML

#3572353
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42443) - you deserved it (5566)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:21am - work - by mannnnn (man) -

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43352) - you deserved it (19025)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

#1590402
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (24387)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Sally256 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (37442)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47589) - you deserved it (6047)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (51184)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (3686)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

#19721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/10/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by appleville (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

#44996
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54495) - you deserved it (10177)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Noname - United States

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

#69146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (5337)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50863) - you deserved it (9797)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74557) - you deserved it (4650)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)



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