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Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (2723)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8647) - you deserved it (19528)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (2684)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

#11430477
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (4154)

On 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm - work - by kbartlett86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (4123)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

#13496771
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2932)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

#14093587
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (3413)

On 12/05/2010 at 7:48am - love - by Jaded618 - United States

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (5287)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML

#16927788
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (2466)

On 06/30/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (2934)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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