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Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36165) - you deserved it (3973)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39026) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44054) - you deserved it (13765)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (3805)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (3777)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (3911)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36876) - you deserved it (3420)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (7581)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

#51
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52407) - you deserved it (13684)

On 10/26/2008 at 8:07am - love - by etsl - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22539) - you deserved it (5838)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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