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Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (3409)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

#7252509
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9841) - you deserved it (25376)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32238) - you deserved it (4168)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (41274)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (2447)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (9054)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

#14040843
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32734) - you deserved it (3333)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12306) - you deserved it (24620)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

#10615901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (6624)

On 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by MisterT (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5681) - you deserved it (23802)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

#12524793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (3364)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm - work - by hobosarea-holes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you deserved it (3799)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

#14444191
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/02/2011 at 9:58pm - work - by sleepy (woman) - Norway



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