Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20019) - you deserved it (1710)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (2465)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23576) - you deserved it (1356)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (3670)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8810) - you deserved it (47715)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9613) - you deserved it (27439)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (14050)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (1948)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25090) - you deserved it (2241)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6546) - you deserved it (19131)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19068) - you deserved it (2070)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

#18269786
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13153) - you deserved it (25637)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: