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Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53938) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41100) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (4662)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47334) - you deserved it (8588)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (3032)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58536) - you deserved it (3611)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49570) - you deserved it (5134)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58545) - you deserved it (12251)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44229) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (19085)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (4216)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)



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