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Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

by Kat / 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm / Australia / Work

Today, after being in a committed relationship for five years, I just found out that my girlfriend's parents have no idea that we are together. She says she "forgot" to tell them. FML

by joco4 / 01/15/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a new cat for my birthday. It ate my bird right when we got home, then it ran away. FML

by KornyKid / 02/21/2016 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to my stepdad's funeral. He was the most important person in my life, but it didn't stop my stepsister angrily saying, "Why are you crying? He wasn't even your real dad." FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 10:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my wife packing a bag. We had been fighting recently and I understood why she was leaving, but then I noticed she wasn't packing her stuff. She explained that I was the one who was leaving, she was just packing my bag. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2016 at 7:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house with his family. A kitten walks over to me with an engagement ring tied to its collar and a note that says "Marry Me?" I got super excited, only to find out that it was for his brother's girlfriend of 10 months, not me. We've been together 4 years. FML

by Still No Ring / 06/15/2016 at 5:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

by Pseudo / 06/21/2016 at 1:33am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Kids

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

by damnit / 10/27/2008 at 5:08am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

by Ulysse / 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Geek

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

by / 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm / Intimacy

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

by Faxshadow / 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

by iamnotfat / 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Love