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Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32488) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40079) - you deserved it (3765)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (7111)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (9887)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (4156)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49749) - you deserved it (5114)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29882) - you deserved it (15112)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36075) - you deserved it (2664)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (3300)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (4657)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (3187)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (6149)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (6080)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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