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Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

#14450604
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:28pm - misc - by insultedguy (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (8964)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (2741)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, I went to lunch with my sister. As the waitress was bringing our food, she dropped it on the floor. She apologized and brought us new food. After we finished eating and I looked at the bill, I noticed she'd charged us twice. FML

#17757615
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (2887)

On 09/16/2011 at 12:26pm - money - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (3017)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

#19375581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15594) - you deserved it (4169)

On 03/30/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (7573)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

#17284232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (4554)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

#9350215
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (4240)

On 03/24/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by Clauric (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

#15999474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (4700)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:36am - love - by Anonymous - Reserved



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