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Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (5623)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (3287)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML

#14622379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/18/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by mel - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

#14694098
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (5897)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by crayons128 - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at 3 o'clock. I allowed thirty minutes for the drive, but when I put my key in the ignition, the car wouldn't start. FML

#17017603
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (3898)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:29pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

#16838274
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (7480)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:04pm - love - by pinocchio - United States

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

#15528059
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/28/2011 at 7:52am - misc - by screwedhousemate (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

#18057412
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28292) - you deserved it (3735)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by TitMunch - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML

#19032748
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (15286)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:29am - money - by thatgirl34 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29397) - you deserved it (3087)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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