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Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

#20895521
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (8065)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42799) - you deserved it (3051)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (3787)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

#21000942
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (7490)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (3871)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47683) - you deserved it (5084)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42460) - you deserved it (3990)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39849) - you deserved it (7398)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38890) - you deserved it (7479)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38948) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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