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Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

#8889347
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (3921)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jess (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

#13173364
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (2588)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

#14369430
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30393) - you deserved it (3470)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

#13812694
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (27363)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

#10906568
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

#12114157
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (11477)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:03am - love - by beeee - Australia

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (8149)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (24959)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

#13512572
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (2417)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:15pm - money - by moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called out "personal" from work because I had to study for a major test that is taking place tomorrow. An hour later my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously", then I got an email that the test is being postponed. FML

#9081511
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (3464)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:13pm - work - by Laurendorcus - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21270) - you deserved it (2491)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML

#13821323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (32357)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:10pm - work - by klm878 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8707) - you deserved it (25514)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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