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Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (13154)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (3707)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I'm now banned from that salon. FML

#15000870
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (11562)

On 02/16/2011 at 9:26am - health - by mojolady -

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (5994)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

#15273802
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (7514)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:33am - misc - by uncoretard -

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

#15308430
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (9371)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm - misc - by lonelynessinCA (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (26397)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

#15393060
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (8231)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:08am - work - by Matt - United States (Michigan)

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

#15713068
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (25200)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:00pm - animals - by Danielle - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (3281)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (4156)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)



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