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Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (30617)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (12879)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (11940)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (32891)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

#18142584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm - love - by lebowski101 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6268) - you deserved it (46466)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (3172)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

#15861693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (4022)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (18986)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8926) - you deserved it (29877)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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