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Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39973) - you deserved it (3896)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (6865)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (4830)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (9127)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40232) - you deserved it (3072)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42683) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (6527)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39575) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (3237)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (7260)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (6598)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43053) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)



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