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Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

by really?? / 06/02/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

by Congrats to me / 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

by whoops / 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 5:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm / Germany (Hessen) / Animals

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

by baconistasty27 / 08/01/2014 at 1:33am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2014 at 7:55am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Geek

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work