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Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16916) - you deserved it (1684)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6529) - you deserved it (26142)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (2281)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (2001)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (1636)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (1510)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (1336)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (7100)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29825) - you deserved it (3454)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (5352)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (4091)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43280) - you deserved it (3276)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)



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