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Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (7260)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (6597)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38446) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (2930)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36466) - you deserved it (3410)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49924) - you deserved it (3940)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41479) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)



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