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Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

#5929779
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (31939)

On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

#6337825
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8858) - you deserved it (33355)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

#6378987
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7238) - you deserved it (29760)

On 11/20/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by hopefulanonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18374) - you deserved it (10268)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (25452)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (5213)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (6033)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

#7467721
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (4093)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

#7321633
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by soccercrazed1520 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML

#7591885
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (2225)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:33pm - money - by tinaburrito - Sent from mobile version

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (2746)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)



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