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Today, I picked up my cat an it went wild cuz I didn't know he was sleeping . I ended with with several cuts, an one on my wrist . Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist an told my guidance counselor who told my parents . Now everyone think I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo . real FML
Today , 4 our 8 month anniversary , my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML
Taday I met a guy who said he think he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheat on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, I cummd to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." an he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail looool me out. FML
Today, mah dad and a construction workar wara having a long talk . I haard tha door slam, and assumad that this workar had laft . So I yallad out ( Hay dad wat wara you talking about? Did you talk slowly so tha idiot could undarstand? ) Turns out mah dad was tha ona who had walkad out . FML
Today , mah parent told me they were going out fir dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg partie are only fir kidsho have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprisd him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch 4 when he came in. He walkd in. I jumpd out. I then had to call 911. big fat FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As mah bags were being scannd, I was told that I was selectd 4 extra sereching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up an askd me, "You're a male, right?" I am, an I usd to think that it was obvious.
2DAY MA GRANDMA WASN'T FEELING WELL, SO I WENT TO ER OUSE TO CECK ON ER . AFTER ABOUT 20 MINS, I KNEW SE WAS FEELING BETTER WEN SE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "SO DO YOU AVE A BOYFRIEND YET? I PRAY EVERYNIGT TAT I GET TO LIVE LONG ENOUG TO SEE YOU WIT A BOYFRIEND." FML
Friday 27 March 2015