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Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17178) - you deserved it (62833)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38408) - you deserved it (11670)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10396) - you deserved it (56128)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (6849)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35371) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

#5793499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (6792)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:21am - money - by Dora (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

#3772243
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (14087)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

#5734528
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (34133)

On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

#5764278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (7655)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm - kids - by Jer (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

#3777907
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7833) - you deserved it (50840)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

#3911129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (3917)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

#5154574
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (2075)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States



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