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Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (13845)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

#16106776
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40252) - you deserved it (11820)

On 05/09/2011 at 5:12pm - money - by loser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3519)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11795) - you deserved it (24606)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (12306)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

#19330413
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (2246)

On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9603) - you deserved it (36487)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

#17708531
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9499) - you deserved it (47436)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (2161)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (3100)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

#18386574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (1897)

On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)



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