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Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69776) - you deserved it (3901)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML

#197849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (45037)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87003) - you deserved it (31873)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17175) - you deserved it (62830)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

#961162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38407) - you deserved it (11670)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:50pm - misc - by eMmA01 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10395) - you deserved it (56127)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (6849)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35367) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

#5793499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (6792)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:21am - money - by Dora (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

#3772243
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (14087)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

#5734528
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (34131)

On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States



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