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Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

#21072866
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:21am - work - by FallCameEarly (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36886) - you deserved it (2757)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (2259)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38032) - you deserved it (5297)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38368) - you deserved it (3688)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

#9
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49658) - you deserved it (14393)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:21am - misc - by RatQuiRit -

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (1591)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6515) - you deserved it (26835)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19310) - you deserved it (40218)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

#14263039
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20371) - you deserved it (6878)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by hugme101 (woman) - Canada

Today, I accidentally left my concession card in the photocopier. I then got fined for not having a concession card on the train. I was photocopying it for a letter to get out of a fine for not having a concession card. FML

#2881369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you deserved it (34383)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:16am - money - by LordAdam (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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