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Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

#4404905
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39797) - you deserved it (4097)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by itendstonight (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45400) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

#5513744
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (19309)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by thanksbro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

#4781635
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (8657)

On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML

#5203219
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32157) - you deserved it (7896)

On 09/12/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Lonely (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (3537)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16459) - you deserved it (47088)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

#4953539
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (3816)

On 08/31/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by UNmarried (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

#4371069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40852) - you deserved it (6357)

On 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by scarredforlife (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9935) - you deserved it (35881)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

#5865108
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33472) - you deserved it (4861)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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