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Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

#3168313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49356) - you deserved it (3450)

On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

#227802
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21145) - you deserved it (49115)

On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69819) - you deserved it (16393)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML

#549700
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68902) - you deserved it (6641)

On 03/23/2009 at 8:08am - work - by McFired (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (72370)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53918) - you deserved it (5471)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (6023)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7807) - you deserved it (56789)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML

#5519720
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38035) - you deserved it (12784)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:11am - work - by Baboosh (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35653) - you deserved it (8864)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (4621)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (2915)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

#3907270
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (5676)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)



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