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Today, while filling out some medical forms, I was asked for an emergency contact. I realized I didn't have anyone who would actually care enough to be my contact. FML

#6009971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30671) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by meagainsttheworld (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

#5959994
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2672)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by iross (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a 19 year old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on facebook chat. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML

#6186219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (5457)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

#6131702
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8477) - you deserved it (22557)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

#6482336
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (8267)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

#6716496
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (3420)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by fuckbio (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (4271)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (2215)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (2426)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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