Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (1735)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

#17352366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (5616)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:47am - love - by Cow_girl_cutie - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

#18631126
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26163) - you deserved it (1736)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:32am - health - by loveurlifejk - United States

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (5825)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

#18761652
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14164) - you deserved it (33744)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

#19071963
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (4613)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by makeupsex (woman) - Canada

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (16432)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you deserved it (12816)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16478) - you deserved it (3194)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10682) - you deserved it (29398)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (2531)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: