Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

#21123459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (4069)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (4428)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (32948)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

#21150425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44450) - you deserved it (3702)

On 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm - misc - by NaCl - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

#21159568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38993) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by not paid enough (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45425) - you deserved it (3772)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37864) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (8999)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

#202
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53403) - you deserved it (8010)

On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (1649)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: