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Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (3444)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

#18409440
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2508)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (2136)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

#13972992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (3754)

On 11/25/2010 at 9:48am - animals - by Seline -

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (2462)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (3579)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (5452)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3161)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10474) - you deserved it (36082)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6833) - you deserved it (24028)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21823) - you deserved it (2417)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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