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Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (9321)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (4483)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (3908)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

#6990979
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (3707)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:14am - work - by kawaiixalice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got half way to the airport and realized I forgot my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then my pocket vibrated. FML

#7158067
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8836) - you deserved it (34964)

On 01/05/2010 at 1:40am - misc - by Allen - France

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

#7405426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9893) - you deserved it (35023)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:57pm - love - by IceMage (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (3409)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

#7252509
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9835) - you deserved it (25351)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7856) - you deserved it (41255)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2447)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (9053)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

#14040843
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (3331)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Italy



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