Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (5517)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34304) - you deserved it (4178)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47261) - you deserved it (4990)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53907) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (3493)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (4661)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47312) - you deserved it (8585)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (3032)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (3611)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49547) - you deserved it (5132)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58501) - you deserved it (12247)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: