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Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

#8737803
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (5584)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

#13429842
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/13/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by grow_fasterrr - (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

#14151880
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (5007)

On 12/10/2010 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6460) - you deserved it (32203)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

#13269256
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3921)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm - love - by dontask (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

#14093587
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (3408)

On 12/05/2010 at 7:48am - love - by Jaded618 - United States

Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML

#16927788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (2462)

On 06/30/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

#13458885
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10333) - you deserved it (29599)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Nepal

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

#13584749
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (4666)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by not_relaxed (man) - United States (California)



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