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Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9178) - you deserved it (95156) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6136) - you deserved it (22907)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (3327)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (3547)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML

#18541076
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (7035)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

#17866876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (24766)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (3859)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

#18106914
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6261) - you deserved it (38406)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (3407)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -



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