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Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML

#15336709
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (13759)

On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50097) - you deserved it (8168)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50337) - you deserved it (8971)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11756) - you deserved it (51362)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64347) - you deserved it (16301)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37407) - you deserved it (4024)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41724) - you deserved it (2573)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (50630)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47468) - you deserved it (25759)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41635) - you deserved it (19173)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19300) - you deserved it (236962)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9221) - you deserved it (61571)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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