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Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (236815)
On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (9477)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53067) - you deserved it (5469)
On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (14067)
On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36381) - you deserved it (7455)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10026) - you deserved it (254970)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (16279)
On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29406) - you deserved it (3708)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (100364)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (32081)
On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (3987)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47880) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML
I agree, your life sucks (128575) - you deserved it (16261)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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