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Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15129) - you deserved it (55611)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43934) - you deserved it (22543)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (67244)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (59985)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (28384)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (233522)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40058) - you deserved it (27889)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (63858)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (9349)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

#16640973
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56874) - you deserved it (4109)

On 06/13/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Bechara (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62349) - you deserved it (7322)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (290256)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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