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Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML

#14148009
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8731) - you deserved it (83734)

On 12/09/2010 at 10:19pm - money - by fmlguy -

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (68276)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127387) - you deserved it (6242)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7539) - you deserved it (71761)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42734) - you deserved it (139966)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

#767
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (8696)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (29740)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35443) - you deserved it (30249)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89484) - you deserved it (11261)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46200) - you deserved it (9850)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML



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