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Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (4017)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (50601)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47253) - you deserved it (25651)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (19166)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (2442)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51130) - you deserved it (30941)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9208) - you deserved it (61522)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45366) - you deserved it (23215)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (236107)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (67364)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (63940)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (9355)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)



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