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Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39344) - you deserved it (3657)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (3258)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

#20917263
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48683) - you deserved it (11375)

On 10/12/2013 at 3:23am - love - by angryinlaws (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML

#20955992
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:42am - work - by BagBoy (man) - United States

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (4457)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44228) - you deserved it (7264)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50644) - you deserved it (3994)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44219) - you deserved it (6010)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47898) - you deserved it (3737)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (7119)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (5662)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (6565)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)



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