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Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42244) - you deserved it (3498)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (2577)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (13727)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45313) - you deserved it (7580)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (5832)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9611) - you deserved it (32988)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (5059)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (5186)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (1882)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72331) - you deserved it (3787)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37987) - you deserved it (16124)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)



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