Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

by Cano951 / 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm / United States / Money

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

by cmolloy / 12/21/2011 at 9:40am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

by Lyn / 01/18/2012 at 6:15am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML

by Alejandroc / 01/19/2012 at 8:46pm / Honduras (Cortes) / Love

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

by ThanksMum / 02/14/2012 at 6:56am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

by workaholic / 02/15/2012 at 6:09am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

by wtf did I do / 03/02/2012 at 4:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

by Not_High / 03/23/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous