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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (2197)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (4828)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML

#19552616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7887) - you deserved it (25468)

On 04/30/2012 at 9:28am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

#19720849
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (6821)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:55pm - love - by Norwegian (man) - Norway

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

#19650597
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (1919)

On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (2057)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (9824)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2333)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

#20076048
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (1926)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:15am - love - by jlee0000785 (woman) - Australia

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6942) - you deserved it (24711)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML



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