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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7630) - you deserved it (55541)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (3367)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9520) - you deserved it (33465)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (4786)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

#6510557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10480) - you deserved it (36064)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27190) - you deserved it (3833)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

#6741801
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5266) - you deserved it (33983)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (2876)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

#7139398
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (23182)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:01am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

#7016901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7416) - you deserved it (32755)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by FMLimsomad (man) - United States

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19833) - you deserved it (3837)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)



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