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Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (49776)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

#1578524
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58919) - you deserved it (3763)

On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

#2047113
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44702) - you deserved it (4752)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

#2071400
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44403) - you deserved it (7135)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:19am - animals - by Tcake (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

#2176338
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32318) - you deserved it (12455)

On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49901) - you deserved it (4882)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32796) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (5993)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

#4950874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (4204)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

#4905255
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9475) - you deserved it (37467)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (37003)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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