Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (2660)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39244) - you deserved it (5145)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31858) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (6946)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (6575)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (747) - you deserved it (3402)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (2357)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered my friends have contests to see who can photoshop my pictures to make them even uglier. FML

#21370101
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (2428)

On 03/07/2015 at 6:55pm - misc - by Theuglyfriend - United States

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (9340)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17307) - you deserved it (32335)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2454)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28274) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: