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Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (3550)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

#18106898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11561) - you deserved it (29420)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (2385)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29661) - you deserved it (6397)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

#17702790
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (4395)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:58am - intimacy - by psychicmother (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53581) - you deserved it (5840)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (3288)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (5517)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (22370)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (2360)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

#18028466
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (1779)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (2081)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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