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Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (4923)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

#14249611
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (4887)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15485) - you deserved it (1896)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

#14197641
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (2274)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

#14815475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (5141)

On 02/02/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by hehe -

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

#14650881
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (26853)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (9382)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (3406)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2534)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom



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