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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8610) - you deserved it (25238)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to present a powerpoint in front of my class. When I was finished, no one clapped. On my way back to my seat, I slipped on a pencil and fell straight on my face. That's when everyone clapped. FML

#15121676
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (4079)

On 02/26/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by Franigirl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10238) - you deserved it (25511)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (2804)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

#13886918
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (6942)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (4114)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (32535)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

#14710566
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37083) - you deserved it (4730)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:16pm - love - by lovehim (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (5409)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

#14867173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (4211)

On 02/06/2011 at 1:26pm - love - by poop (woman) - United States (New York)



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