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Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (7819)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15256) - you deserved it (25644)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70) - you deserved it (161)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (2366)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28951) - you deserved it (2930)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27034) - you deserved it (1850)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28249) - you deserved it (3123)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

#21425364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (1759)

On 06/13/2015 at 7:45am - work - by notfuckingpaidenough - United States (California)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

#21401319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (1972)

On 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by full bladder - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

#21400557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (6210)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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