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Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

#6454408
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (4111)

On 11/25/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12178) - you deserved it (28231)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

#6608304
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6013) - you deserved it (27904)

On 12/04/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Wino (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (12100)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (6614)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (20022)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6478) - you deserved it (26473)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, after secretly smoking for more than 2 years, I decided to quit. I come home from work and I see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

#7157355
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4571) - you deserved it (32265)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by tanksfan (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (2035)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML

#7643965
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24556) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:12pm - work - by sucksssssss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (1849)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (5689)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version



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