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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, whilst doing it with my girlfriend she goes :"are you done any time soon?" FML

#367
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (4414)

On 11/22/2008 at 7:24am - intimacy - by KaRaSu - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (4985)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

#556
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9505) - you deserved it (6679)

On 12/20/2008 at 3:16am - misc - by Rabzouz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20586) - you deserved it (2121)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML

#838
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3149) - you deserved it (14869)

On 01/01/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was putting a new lightbulb in when my wife walks into the room and says "you can't see a thing, i'll turn the light on for you". And she did. FML

#981
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (1405)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:35pm - misc - by Christoams - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16118) - you deserved it (535)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16095) - you deserved it (5775)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

#2777
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15379) - you deserved it (18466)

On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17787) - you deserved it (3487)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (2146)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML

#13635
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (7586)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (6414)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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