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Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (31355)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (2622)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML

#13375459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you deserved it (6538)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20876) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9100) - you deserved it (23435)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

#18409440
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

#13972992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you deserved it (3752)

On 11/25/2010 at 9:48am - animals - by Seline -

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (3577)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (5414)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (3119)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore



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