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Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22037) - you deserved it (3291)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24119) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

#19838135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17727) - you deserved it (6980)

On 06/24/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

#18137522
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (2891)

On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

#18829568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9995) - you deserved it (28596)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

#19007190
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (2052)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:35am - love - by hudd357mag (man) - United States

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (2519)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (2248)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (6137)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2313)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

#19561012
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6752) - you deserved it (30167)

On 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by BoomHeadshot (woman) - Australia



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