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Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45387) - you deserved it (4513)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (2600)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (5556)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52658) - you deserved it (3830)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37611) - you deserved it (9944)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (13973)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44642) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (3936)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States



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