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Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58243) - you deserved it (6269)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

#1614849
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48504) - you deserved it (3811)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:40am - health - by lsta (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

#806381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57589) - you deserved it (2883)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

#2065016
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11341) - you deserved it (35343)

On 05/18/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by lulabell (woman) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML

#5325524
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6395) - you deserved it (56225)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

#2984203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (4964)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by coco (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was fired from my job of 5 years. I was let go because I couldn't take the company to 'the next level'. My now ex-boss asked me if I could process my severance check because he didn't know how. I had to write myself my last paycheck. FML

#1315849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50342) - you deserved it (2173)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:31am - work - by feistychick (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while getting ready for work I realized all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale which confirmed I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

#2390335
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (41237)

On 05/28/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by pathetic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (3585)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51085) - you deserved it (2349)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (3924)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML

Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML

#334841
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59926) - you deserved it (14672)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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