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Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

#6427475
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (24825)

On 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm - love - by pigglepigglepiggle (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

#6499900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (6254)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

#6635379
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26297) - you deserved it (17195)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (3858)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

#6613732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (14898)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by Marcella_03 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (3176)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (2908)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

#7222174
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (4020)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by farmvillefail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (4567)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

#7384100
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (7947)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (7444)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (6817)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version



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