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Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (1546)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (8480)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

#3730
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (7684)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:19am - money - by Banker - United States (Virginia)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64803) - you deserved it (8051)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (10355)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (15441)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40703) - you deserved it (3643)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (6918)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56829) - you deserved it (4766)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48380) - you deserved it (9820)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64616) - you deserved it (4674)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

#480695
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (96817)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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