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Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (3776)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

#44996
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54251) - you deserved it (10124)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Noname - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19294) - you deserved it (60774)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67615) - you deserved it (22386)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (23122)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

#1378715
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44168) - you deserved it (4692)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML

#1513141
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53866) - you deserved it (3881)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9814) - you deserved it (37508)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (5997)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (4945)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

#5419998
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (7402)

On 09/22/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by cchandler (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

#5714367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31049) - you deserved it (7965)

On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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