Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (2888)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (31184)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

#14710566
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33913) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:16pm - love - by lovehim (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (5220)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

#14867173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/06/2011 at 1:26pm - love - by poop (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (5472)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19176) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML

#14622379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (7022)

On 01/18/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by mel - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

#14694098
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (4567)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by crayons128 - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17318) - you deserved it (2832)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

#18811702
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (3816)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: