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Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Well, I financed my own breakup date. FML

#3667627
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (4352)

On 07/11/2009 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

#19129542
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/21/2012 at 4:53am - work - by kat (woman) - Reserved

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

#5119886
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37085) - you deserved it (13416)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47302) - you deserved it (2351)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

#5442113
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you deserved it (38606)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

#5163293
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36836) - you deserved it (6225)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

#5182605
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

#4397401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (7245)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

#4753654
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (28113)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML

#5192617
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (1957)

On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

#4752266
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Idontdance (man) - United States (Florida)



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