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Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (19234)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

#2336
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (37583)

On 01/23/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by sadgirl - United States (Virginia)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58510) - you deserved it (3837)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31214) - you deserved it (4946)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (3659)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11042) - you deserved it (69801)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (35240)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62430) - you deserved it (3688)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42916) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (61502)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59421) - you deserved it (5755)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (21772)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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