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Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56544) - you deserved it (15306)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my cousin's communion. We came late and walked to the front of the church where my family was. Everyone stared and laughed but I ignored it. After the service was done my mom came up to me and pulled a long piece of toilet paper out of my skirt. FML

#1358381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (11679)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by skjjj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

#1471492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47813) - you deserved it (3777)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:42pm - health - by tinfoilnirvana (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

#1840722
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49370) - you deserved it (9113)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Manatee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (37542)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (3052)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

#2270711
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36434) - you deserved it (8510)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by MandyPanda (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

#4231634
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (6317)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by waiterrrrrrrrr (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

#4028166
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16783) - you deserved it (42145)

On 07/25/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by PeterRabit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9086) - you deserved it (44820)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out that my Mom had taken out a loan out on my car from the repo man taking my car away. FML

#4712863
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (2045)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:44pm - money - by jonhapimp (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML

#6179054
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (4784)

On 11/06/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ShittyKeys (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

#4712150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (1845)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)



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