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Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (3532)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (2432)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (2946)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (8480)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

#3730
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (7685)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:19am - money - by Banker - United States (Virginia)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64792) - you deserved it (8051)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (10353)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (15438)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (3642)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37611) - you deserved it (6917)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56880) - you deserved it (4767)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (9820)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67234) - you deserved it (4090)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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