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Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (2741)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39176) - you deserved it (2804)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (4076)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (6664)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (9829)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42812) - you deserved it (8400)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42523) - you deserved it (2593)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12409) - you deserved it (38421)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (8848)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (5771)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (5080)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15926) - you deserved it (38631)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38962) - you deserved it (3307)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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