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Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

#16024989
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (4245)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm - health - by wtf1234 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36025) - you deserved it (3267)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (2918)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16350) - you deserved it (32235)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (16721)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

#19262944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8968) - you deserved it (26015)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

#17343675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (5101)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

#16761354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (7704)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:59am - misc - by m2k (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (2435)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (6538)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

#17405382
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (6306)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML



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