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Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47834) - you deserved it (7480)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46993) - you deserved it (3653)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (32861)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (4760)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39366) - you deserved it (14793)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (8360)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (4305)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (5397)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (5513)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (4171)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58706) - you deserved it (2896)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47236) - you deserved it (4988)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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