Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (4194)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (9581)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (3386)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

#17531478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (2423)

On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (3561)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

#16024989
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (4245)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm - health - by wtf1234 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (3267)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (2915)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16352) - you deserved it (32235)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (16721)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

#19262944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8963) - you deserved it (26002)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

#17343675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (5101)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

#16761354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (7704)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:59am - misc - by m2k (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: