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Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (16739)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39165) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (4904)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (7537)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

#21284646
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (326) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39876) - you deserved it (5621)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27843) - you deserved it (15843)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9268) - you deserved it (55207)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (2541)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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