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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

#13458885
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10316) - you deserved it (29558)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Nepal

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

#13584749
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (4659)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by not_relaxed (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (6958)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (14283)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

#13850152
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (4811)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (10543)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, seeing Ozzy Osbourne live for the first time, I was trying to get the perfect photo of the entire band on stage. That is, until a sudden burst of pyrotechnics startled me, and I gave myself a black eye from the camera hitting me in the face. FML

#13982086
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18585) - you deserved it (8552)

On 11/26/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (3118)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

#14505215
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

#15203097
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (14555)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by anonymous - France

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

#20043557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (1511)

On 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by damnit. (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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