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Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

#18811702
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (3952)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (3461)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (5296)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

#15401902
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (9208)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:32pm - misc - by thebravelittletoaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38824) - you deserved it (5491)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML

#20008267
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20628) - you deserved it (2504)

On 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm - misc - by HazzaBoo - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (12163)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

#18761423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (2002)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (4356)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

#16756639
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (3507)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Hello (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

#17813081
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (1961)

On 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by jccwell - United States

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

#16541885
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (3958)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:48am - work - by IloveMaroon5 - United States (Texas)



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