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Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (5762)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

#2367025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11557) - you deserved it (40617)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (50893)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

#13539571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML

#2851443
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48033) - you deserved it (2706)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:10am - love - by slukaa (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (2532)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (3602)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

#44996
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53898) - you deserved it (10005)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Noname - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18959) - you deserved it (60206)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65510) - you deserved it (21648)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (22852)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53762) - you deserved it (14235)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

#1378715
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (4423)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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