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Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (6250)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

#17702790
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (4394)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:58am - intimacy - by psychicmother (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (5838)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21998) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (5515)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (22358)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22522) - you deserved it (2358)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

#18028466
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21995) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

#19449205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16300) - you deserved it (2290)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:06am - misc - by Sios (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (3023)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

#18262782
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (4320)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by jdancerchick - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you deserved it (27323)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)



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