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Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34456) - you deserved it (7021)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (6466)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45403) - you deserved it (3163)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37972) - you deserved it (3576)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45580) - you deserved it (3025)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (19040)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

#20821476
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38812) - you deserved it (3939)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by riiiighhhttttt (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (53646)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (4699)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

#20827009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (5091)

On 08/08/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by go choke on a gonad (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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