Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9511) - you deserved it (33419)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (4783)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

#6510557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (36047)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

#6741801
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5250) - you deserved it (33945)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (2875)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

#7016901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7398) - you deserved it (32729)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by FMLimsomad (man) - United States

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (2608)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (3832)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (3775)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (4787)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (4902)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: