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Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (2045)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

#20088101
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (1284)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by Jograd - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (21714)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (2915)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (1380)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

#20034633
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (5192)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by m (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

#19969861
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19307) - you deserved it (1343)

On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9558) - you deserved it (25668)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (3842)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (1677)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (2293)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (8606)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



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