Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (3160)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (3247)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6433) - you deserved it (32102)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

#12313320
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (8755)

On 08/04/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

#13313865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (3818)

On 10/04/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by megmo7 - United States

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (31420)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

#14093587
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (3402)

On 12/05/2010 at 7:48am - love - by Jaded618 - United States

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9366) - you deserved it (24044)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#15333095
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (50744)

On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (2210)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML

#13336627
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (2414)

On 10/05/2010 at 11:20pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

#12792587
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (5488)

On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: