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Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (1691)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home and got a phone call from my mom. She called to tell me that there was a cop at the bottom of our hill, and to be careful. I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving. FML

#18269786
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12563) - you deserved it (24637)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by tramplily - United States

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17250) - you deserved it (1540)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (1554)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5456) - you deserved it (22322)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19051) - you deserved it (1431)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML

#19491584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14662) - you deserved it (3009)

On 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by amazed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4030) - you deserved it (15522)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (1861)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21416) - you deserved it (1564)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15830) - you deserved it (1321)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

#20000823
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (1402)

On 08/03/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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