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Today, I decided to try whitening my teeth for the first time. I applied the strips to my teeth and decided to lay down and wait for the thirty required minutes to pass. I accidentally fell asleep and woke up three hours later. My teeth are still in excruciating pain and are covered in white streaks. FML

#6841945
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9783) - you deserved it (30992)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:52am - health - by nikko blue - United States (California)

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

#7222174
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (4020)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by farmvillefail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12960) - you deserved it (25967)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (2924)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

#7384100
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (7941)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (7440)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (6816)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (2816)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

#8597104
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19342) - you deserved it (4052)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm - health - by Stress (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (3719)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML

#14202478
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (8241)

On 12/14/2010 at 1:41pm - misc - by homeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (32716)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

#8938160
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (3815)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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