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Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14984) - you deserved it (72297)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53859) - you deserved it (5466)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30459) - you deserved it (6018)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (2082)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7795) - you deserved it (56705)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (8859)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44079) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML

#4142743
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12191) - you deserved it (70950)

On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (6035)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

#3907270
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (5670)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (4369)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

#4297624
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47257) - you deserved it (2156)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - money - by familydisaster (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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