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Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line, who looked at me and exclaimed, "Hey look, its Indiana Jones!" which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, "No, he's way too fat." FML

#2395942
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (3426)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:20am - work - by paperbagofdoom (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

#942012
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46196) - you deserved it (2453)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by fatface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34627) - you deserved it (5473)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (3320)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

#55146
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44009) - you deserved it (5942)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by manda (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10755) - you deserved it (29185)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

#303053
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71431) - you deserved it (6762)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90396) - you deserved it (3188)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (2815)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8365) - you deserved it (47690)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

#2073535
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41309) - you deserved it (1812)

On 05/19/2009 at 3:46am - work - by AntSimo (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, a couple came into the gas station where I work to ask for directions. While I was giving the woman directions (and even writing them down to be as helpful as possible), the man stole my wallet out of my purse that was sitting on the other end of the counter behind a display. FML

#3702834
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33976) - you deserved it (5365)

On 07/12/2009 at 11:15pm - money - by lobotomized (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (1536)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)



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