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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29419) - you deserved it (9349)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (27144)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

#19005217
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (37226)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by tkr (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

#16527434
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (2884)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

#17107286
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (3659)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by failure (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

#16371411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (3332)

On 05/27/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34901) - you deserved it (10371)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

#17931151
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (2111)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

#17404352
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (2468)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:10am - misc - by noooo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (3311)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2911)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)



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