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Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

#21307507
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
84 comments

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (8214)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (2513)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML

#21321170
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31694) - you deserved it (4108)

On 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm - love - by sexualpopcorn - United States (California)

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

#21324775
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (2289)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (6984)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (2166)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (3213)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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