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Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

#17057819
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (2369)

On 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm - work - by asianjoe (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (7849)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

#17965758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9527) - you deserved it (23867)

On 10/12/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by spoiled22 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (4061)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (2059)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

#19838135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15214) - you deserved it (6448)

On 06/24/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (2624)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15977) - you deserved it (3044)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (3967)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13402) - you deserved it (49403)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (2006)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (2487)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States



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