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Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (3145)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (2452)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (5141)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

#5989748
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (4937)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (37947)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

#6264237
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (36740)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (2147)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

#6641672
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8632) - you deserved it (30304)

On 12/06/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

#6493003
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5884) - you deserved it (49697)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by MegGRRRz (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7825) - you deserved it (32568)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11011) - you deserved it (22095)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17118) - you deserved it (3822)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

#6779433
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (2240)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)



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