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Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML

#4385596
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (7824)

On 08/08/2009 at 2:02pm - misc - by kittykat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

#3868753
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (3807)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:12pm - animals - by omgjessp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

#4260917
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49176) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/03/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Stung (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51038) - you deserved it (3976)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (6484)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

#5144456
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (4509)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:57am - love - by clingmaster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML

#4654835
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45445) - you deserved it (4963)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

#5393061
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (2602)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by Unemployed (woman) - United States

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (49931)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

#3797001
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50051) - you deserved it (3875)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:00am - work - by bowhuntpa (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38848) - you deserved it (3345)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML

#5303139
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Lulu (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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