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Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (6949)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (3555)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

#14126795
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (4319)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - work - by underemployed (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (2918)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

#14306647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (4484)

On 12/23/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

#14021574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27035) - you deserved it (5818)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:13am - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (8422)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (3175)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (6019)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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