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Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

#303053
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70934) - you deserved it (6715)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90262) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52029) - you deserved it (2815)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7990) - you deserved it (40814)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

#2073535
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (1812)

On 05/19/2009 at 3:46am - work - by AntSimo (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, a couple came into the gas station where I work to ask for directions. While I was giving the woman directions (and even writing them down to be as helpful as possible), the man stole my wallet out of my purse that was sitting on the other end of the counter behind a display. FML

#3702834
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33969) - you deserved it (5363)

On 07/12/2009 at 11:15pm - money - by lobotomized (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (1535)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, while helping my aunts with a garage sale, I sold a relish tray that looked like my mothers. When I put stuff away, I found items of my mothers tagged. Turns out, instead of holding onto my dead mother's items for me until I can store them, they've been selling them at discount prices. FML

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

#5618503
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10003) - you deserved it (20263)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML

#4068517
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (8817)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:07am - work - by OhNo. (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

#5814058
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20377) - you deserved it (1323)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by LOLCATS (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

#5122351
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11529) - you deserved it (26586)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:11am - love - by WanstinChurchHill (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (3244)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)



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