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Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (4770)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

#21271233
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (4424)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34337) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (11500)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (245) - you deserved it (2667)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (15830)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40680)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

#2336
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8352) - you deserved it (49210)

On 01/23/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by sadgirl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52809) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50093) - you deserved it (5093)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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