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Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

#21420064
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (1905)

On 06/03/2015 at 2:03am - misc - by she has dumbcuntitis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

#21508083
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (2794)

On 12/26/2015 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

#21463240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22131) - you deserved it (3435)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (2562)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML

#21453082
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (6213)

On 08/07/2015 at 8:51am - intimacy - by horsefuck (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my friends told me that I'm not invited to the next trip because I'm a party pooper for not getting drunk and staying out late during our last vacation. I guess they forgot that I spent each night taking care of their drunk asses and stayed sober to be the designated driver. FML

#21454553
78 comments

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML

#21451972
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (2733)

On 08/04/2015 at 10:33pm - love - by Carowl (woman) -

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML

#21496413
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:38pm - work - by FitnessFirst (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

#21483767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/24/2015 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

#21505100
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (6815)

On 12/18/2015 at 9:15am - intimacy - by brokebackanus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

#21487037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28951) - you deserved it (1443)

On 11/01/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by sabotaged - United States (California)

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML

#21466537
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22828) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/09/2015 at 3:55pm - animals - by nah - United States (Texas)



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