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Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (2975)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (2899)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (4213)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, I found out that my grandparents are going to take my car away and sell it because they're pissed I'm moving in with my boyfriend. FML

#21428214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25868) - you deserved it (4876)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by allisonpaige21 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (2795)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

#21338940
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (9115)

On 01/17/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (2343)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (7936)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32351) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33724) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)



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