Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49359) - you deserved it (4488)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (15697)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (4566)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (40353)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (3386)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34191) - you deserved it (5393)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling from 30 minutes away. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48490) - you deserved it (3613)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (7533)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39367) - you deserved it (3076)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you deserved it (3059)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (2059)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: