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Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (6321)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (7787)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (7836)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (3246)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (2301)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (27841)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18477) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

#3200106
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32332) - you deserved it (7373)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by GoldenShower (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (18540)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

#3435497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (6194)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:12pm - love - by Damnsoup (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49841) - you deserved it (4751)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

#3269585
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44408) - you deserved it (4890)

On 06/27/2009 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was notified that I've been going to the wrong courses for 4 weeks. A friend of mine was the only person to tell me that the administration had taken the privilege to change my courses. I have now failed 5 courses due to absences and have been suspended from college for 6 months. FML

#5561435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (4776)

On 09/30/2009 at 2:46am - work - by Alex (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)



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