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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

#21132154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (12040)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (4526)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

#21186463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (4260)

On 06/24/2014 at 11:04am - misc - by lrn2road - United States (California)

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41215) - you deserved it (11263)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (4488)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (15697)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (4565)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (40351)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (3386)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (5393)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling from 30 minutes away. FML



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