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Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

#13213227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29986) - you deserved it (2694)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (2460)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

#13633879
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25431) - you deserved it (2476)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by nonexistant (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

#14279606
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (3913)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

#14140329
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (3693)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (3451)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML

#14170475
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/11/2010 at 8:55pm - misc - by kingkarnie - United States

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (5269)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (2546)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (5143)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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