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Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#15333095
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7748) - you deserved it (50722)

On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (2208)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML

#13336627
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (2412)

On 10/05/2010 at 11:20pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

#12792587
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (5487)

On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

#9096813
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23546) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:35am - love - by el211 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

#14422998
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (2979)

On 01/01/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

#13566172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4567) - you deserved it (40104)

On 10/23/2010 at 7:14pm - misc - by escortedout (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

#12418259
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12877) - you deserved it (22090)

On 08/09/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by mitsuko045 (woman) - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (2106)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (5626)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (1987)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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