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Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (3531)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (67805)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to play with my Wii using the TV remote. FML

#704
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6788) - you deserved it (27856)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:57pm - misc - by Rush Snake - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (5683)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15199) - you deserved it (59783)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66164) - you deserved it (4090)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

#232169
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69093) - you deserved it (6240)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by ladeda (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54508) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82427) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML

#250942
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76491) - you deserved it (5484)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by NowABlonde (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (65478)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81608) - you deserved it (6926)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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