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Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

#21400557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (6122)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to play with my Wii using the TV remote. FML

#704
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6795) - you deserved it (27890)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:57pm - misc - by Rush Snake - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

#18460335
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (2013)

On 12/08/2011 at 1:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (2910)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (15456)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53196) - you deserved it (8427)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9478) - you deserved it (62947)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (8974)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69396) - you deserved it (2910)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML



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