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Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (67658) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

#20799897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52673) - you deserved it (4585)

On 07/23/2013 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by oddgrrl99 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

#20843729
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (4120)

On 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm - misc - by Having a pretty sister sucks. - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (3584)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46176) - you deserved it (4559)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

#20819891
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47569) - you deserved it (6639)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

#20853636
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42224) - you deserved it (2933)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:23pm - misc - by hello higher premiums, fuckwad (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (44526)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (3371)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50646) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States



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