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Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49848) - you deserved it (8826)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

#219438
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6057) - you deserved it (59548)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little nieces and nephews were about to have a water balloon fight. I was told to take pictures. They hit me. And my $600 camera. FML

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

#257838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55673) - you deserved it (3559)

On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60972) - you deserved it (6523)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (15035)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53700) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (6638)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

#3607672
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (53045)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided I had gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping my cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FML

#2963101
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (7713)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:03am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (18752)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (37236)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40883) - you deserved it (3652)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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