Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (5485)
On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51732) - you deserved it (2851)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35795) - you deserved it (3767)
On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (20883)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (30474)
On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (3770)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:41am - work - by jcstpierre (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (2607)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by suckmeoff (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (4485)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (6454)
On 09/26/2009 at 5:23pm - work - by bzygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (10593)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (7848)
On 07/10/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (2048)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12636) - you deserved it (25827)
On 07/10/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by nostamp (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
