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Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (3491)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (29299)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (12277)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (4164)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8619) - you deserved it (31405)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

#18142584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (2637)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm - love - by lebowski101 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6244) - you deserved it (46348)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

#15861693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (3940)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (18968)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33438) - you deserved it (3080)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8899) - you deserved it (29791)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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