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Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (3831)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML

#20165
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7028) - you deserved it (58004)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by imwrong (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77155) - you deserved it (4545)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

#720551
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49415) - you deserved it (15046)

On 03/31/2009 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

#2255530
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (11323)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kiki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

#3380750
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34377) - you deserved it (15770)

On 06/30/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my motorcycle was stolen from the 4th level of my “secure” gated parking garage. I strategically park it tightly between my car and a concrete wall to limit theft opportunity. They scratched my car trying to get it out. FML

#2885254
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43667) - you deserved it (3424)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by stolenbike (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (5472)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (12150)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

#1967473
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39962) - you deserved it (2131)

On 05/15/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by FriendsZone (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

#3335931
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45255) - you deserved it (4383)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by StillSingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you deserved it (72815)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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