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Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

#17566039
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36350) - you deserved it (3849)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML

#18541076
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (7249)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31952) - you deserved it (3112)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

#18208343
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23210) - you deserved it (5463)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:16am - misc - by Sack - United Kingdom

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

#17866876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (26235)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

#18239107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (22396)

On 11/13/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (4072)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5371) - you deserved it (28602)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

#19480512
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (1951)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:57pm - love - by Tony (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

#19015871
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (1892)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by whyme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

#19647368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (2121)

On 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cheesfactor (woman) - Bulgaria (Ruse)

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7395) - you deserved it (39881)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada



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