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Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46114) - you deserved it (4926)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

#5227356
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38746) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

#4173931
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10168) - you deserved it (44173)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

#4420726
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15045) - you deserved it (52537)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

#4850742
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML

#6369403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34090) - you deserved it (1835)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by thenewone (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (9747)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (2452)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (5141)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

#5989748
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (4934)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ifyouseekmylife (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (37269)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)



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