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Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

#2176338
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (12439)

On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49775) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (2873)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (5983)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

#4950874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (4197)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

#4905255
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (4062)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9448) - you deserved it (37395)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37877) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (36935)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

#5410681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (4974)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

#4702090
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (40825)

On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)



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