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Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52609) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (9934)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (13960)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (34346)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (2315)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (9308)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (3933)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (3214)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (4393)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (40980)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44860) - you deserved it (4200)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)



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