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Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

#1967473
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (2131)

On 05/15/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by FriendsZone (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

#3335931
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45244) - you deserved it (4380)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by StillSingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (72807)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML

#695786
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (58980)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:41am - work - by musicman2005 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (49711)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

#1578524
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58791) - you deserved it (3758)

On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML

#2047113
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

#2071400
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (7124)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:19am - animals - by Tcake (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

#2176338
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (12439)

On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49772) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (2872)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

#5283267
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (5983)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

#4950874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (4197)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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