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Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

#19115429
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8035) - you deserved it (21526)

On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

#19200358
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (24638)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (5913)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (3063)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

#20045631
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (9716)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (1872)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (1633)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

#20088602
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (2224)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (1576)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18030) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (2187)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (1875)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

#20051798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (1612)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)



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