Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (3195)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32821) - you deserved it (2870)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37472) - you deserved it (5216)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

#5157778
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (4698)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

#6118877
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (4936)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by feelthelove - United States

Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML

#6337825
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (3532)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (3572)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (11547)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (9314)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

#6499900
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (6247)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: