Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37453) - you deserved it (7246)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43801) - you deserved it (6508)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (6583)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (7019)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42544) - you deserved it (2429)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (3400)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (2925)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (3583)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (3931)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (3234)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48456) - you deserved it (3791)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41418) - you deserved it (3050)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: