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Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7516) - you deserved it (20415)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11283) - you deserved it (25600)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5979) - you deserved it (24885)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16336) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML

#14326550
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (21008)

On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

#13720258
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19824) - you deserved it (4618)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

#13691597
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (11917)

On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

#10815057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you deserved it (24355)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:20am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

#13466468
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Shooter71 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (1521)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (3121)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

#14448296
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33258) - you deserved it (4239)

On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States



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