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Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

#19424276
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8050) - you deserved it (26991)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by breakfast tea (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

#15576285
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (27904)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

#17601830
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10559) - you deserved it (46251)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:37am - love - by JJAnd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (2753)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (4251)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

#17959088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19647) - you deserved it (23802)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (7346)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52877) - you deserved it (27510)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML

#17372798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (2381)

On 08/04/2011 at 11:56pm - kids - by mommytobe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

#17826204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (3234)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

#17894495
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (3985)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:08am - health - by smsmall - United States



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