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Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (17591)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (1421)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (1807)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5227) - you deserved it (26096)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (2871)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (27391)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

#10906568
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (3651)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (4296)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back and lying about where he was was out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

#13380093
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27099) - you deserved it (2477)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

#13648251
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7516) - you deserved it (20416)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11283) - you deserved it (25600)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5979) - you deserved it (24883)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -



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