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Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

#5182605
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40992) - you deserved it (2331)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46660) - you deserved it (3639)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

#4404905
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37332) - you deserved it (3842)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by itendstonight (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

#4753654
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7190) - you deserved it (28068)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

#5337998
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (40375)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

#4752266
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you deserved it (3969)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Idontdance (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12156) - you deserved it (48311)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I quit my job because my company wouldn't give me the raise I've been asking for for 2 years. I just saw the ad on Craigslist for my replacement position. The starting salary is above what I was asking for. FML

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10614) - you deserved it (71671)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

#4297624
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46430) - you deserved it (2082)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - money - by familydisaster (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

#5359755
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

#4099565
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48495) - you deserved it (2353)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by partypooper (man) - United States (California)



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