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Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (11823)
On 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by public pooper - United States
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2637) - you deserved it (31145)
On 12/30/2008 at 6:14am - misc - by Simon - Sent from mobile version
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6397) - you deserved it (24325)
On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10623) - you deserved it (1757)
On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (4621)
On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (28253)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16492) - you deserved it (7480)
On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (37095)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4852) - you deserved it (37066)
On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (4273)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (10495)
On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (2306)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States
Today, was my 16th birthday. Needless to say, I was delighted when my friends presented me with a birthday card in a homeroom. I pretended to be surprised and exclaimed, "Aw, you guys really shouldn't have!" They didn't. It was our teacher's birthday. They just wanted me to sign the card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49158) - you deserved it (3535)
On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by happyeffingbday202 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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