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Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58341) - you deserved it (12227)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41390) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (4211)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42222) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

#20821917
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/05/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (5547)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (4444)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (3261)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52586) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (13958)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (12041)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (4364)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)



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