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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

#14021574
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (6277)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:13am - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

#13442639
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (3343)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:00am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (8773)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

#18143971
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

#14706405
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (4139)

On 01/25/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Jim -

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

#15048798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6927) - you deserved it (43829)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by O.o (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML

#14990533
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17842) - you deserved it (25399)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

#15029210
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27608) - you deserved it (5497)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Socarates - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML

#15099087
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (6627)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (6239)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

#19424276
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8050) - you deserved it (26991)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by breakfast tea (man) - Hong Kong



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