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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

#10684466
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (19610)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:56am - money - by TheComputerGuy96 (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

#14482649
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15231) - you deserved it (4948)

On 01/06/2011 at 3:58am - health - by nuerrotticc -

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

#12483981
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (1654)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17569) - you deserved it (4497)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (4077)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

#14920871
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (1681)

On 02/10/2011 at 9:55am - work - by theothercassie -

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (6076)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

#15147036
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21021) - you deserved it (1607)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:43am - work - by jack -

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

#14647477
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33) - you deserved it (17606)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (1841)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

#14458988
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (1860)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

#14809738
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15800) - you deserved it (2024)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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