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Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

#7301581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5373) - you deserved it (37188)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by Busted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

#12108536
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (9729)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

#13372887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (6252)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Rob - United States (New York)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (3161)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11149) - you deserved it (23032)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

#11430477
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (4149)

On 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm - work - by kbartlett86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (4108)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

#13259037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (2354)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version



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