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Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (37946)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in for work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML

#3957913
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51092) - you deserved it (7902)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10216) - you deserved it (36673)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

#5672838
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (9405)

On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9005) - you deserved it (32095)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

#4807185
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39965) - you deserved it (11505)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

#18528339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (2199)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm - money - by Cano951 - United States

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62841) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

#4426639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8210) - you deserved it (61763)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by picaboo (man) - Singapore

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38403) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received an eviction notice taped to my door stating my landlord is selling his property and moving out of the country in 13 days. My landlord is my boyfriend. FML

#6273079
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:39pm - love - by LonelyMonkey (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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