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Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (4273)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (10494)
On 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (2306)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States
Today, was my 16th birthday. Needless to say, I was delighted when my friends presented me with a birthday card in a homeroom. I pretended to be surprised and exclaimed, "Aw, you guys really shouldn't have!" They didn't. It was our teacher's birthday. They just wanted me to sign the card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49154) - you deserved it (3535)
On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by happyeffingbday202 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12815) - you deserved it (45521)
On 04/05/2009 at 4:48am - work - by HDCkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (4757)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40647) - you deserved it (9928)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46008) - you deserved it (3909)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31021) - you deserved it (2801)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)
Today, my electricity went out. The electric company said it was because the bill was at least 4 months overdue. Apparently, I have been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (2596)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (4737)
On 10/12/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, when walking to my car I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40713) - you deserved it (1695)
On 08/13/2009 at 10:00am - money - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9064) - you deserved it (4566)
On 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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